Punkelf

Post For Great Theraputic Intent

So as you may know, Bob (...actually, the only person that still reads LJ that knows this is Simon, I think), I am in therapy!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

So far it's been... interesting? The therapist has suggested a combination of CBT (not the pervy kind) and IPT for me, which everyone has agreed seems like a pretty logical combo for me.

Anyway, one of the things we have been talking about lately has been my overactive perfectionist streak and the fact that it means that I basically don't do anything. (No blogging, no writing, no art, etc.) So this is my therapy-assignment blog, to actually write a thing.

Note: my therapy appointment is in an hour. (And usually is on Wednesdays instead of Thursdays.) So... I may have left this a little long.

The weird thing is that blogging itself isn't exactly hard for me. (Or, at least, I don't have the deeply visceral reaction here that I do with fiction writing.) I just sort of stopped doing it, because I didn't have anything interesting to say. (I still don't, really, other than reporting on therapy.) I can't really talk about my clients, and I don't do a whole heck of a lot outside of work.

Which is... one of the things I'm in therapy for, really ^^;;

But it seems like the combo of "puzzle out the origin of this thing" (or at least, the origin of the motivation-destroying version of this thing; I've always been one who wants to do things as best I can, but why is that now "you can't do it well at all, so don't even bother starting" as opposed to "do your best!"?) and "destroy this thing" will help? I hope?

Next up: not living up to expectations! The stress of looking for a job! Not doing things that normal people totally do without thinking about it!
Punkelf

Five Weird Things About Me Meme

Since Rose did it, I'm compelled to do it myself. :P However, I'm not brave enough to put this out on FB, so you'll just have to accept it here...

1. Pretty much every relationship I've had has been an open one at some point. (I can think of a single exception.)

2. I hate cooking "simple" meals, which means cooking for one (as I often do) is something I have to drag my ass to do. Want me to make a four course meal for six? Absolutely! Want me to make pasta just for myself? BLUUUUUUGGGGGGH DO I GOTTA CAN'T I JUST GO OUT INSTEAD.

3. I have read maybe 4 books in the last four years. In 2008, I read 50. In 2009, I read 17. After that... it's honest-to-god been too much effort. I've barely been able to read two of my favorites (actually, I'm only halfway through the most recent Discworld novel, and that's been a GRIND). It's exhausting and depressing and it is, like, one of the major things I want my therapist to help me sort out.

4. Given enough time, I will do a parody of "I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major-General" for anything I enjoy. This will be relevant... later.

5. Despite the fact that I don't actually eat tomatoes usually, I have a fuckton of them growing in my garden.
Punkelf

(no subject)

So I've been rewatching Utena.

You guys, do you know how many fucking trigger warnings that show needs nowadays?

Oh sure, on the surface it looks like a standard shoujo anime, with you know a little DV in the first episode but that's so we know Saionji's an asshole. Oh and the bullying, too. That's ep 1. Oh, parental death. That should probably be on there.

Then we get into the, like:
-incest
-depression
-statutory rape
-child rape (is that the TV series too or just the movie? I'm pretty sure both)
-your best friend turning on you like a motherfucker
-animal abuse/animal death
-fucking terrifying swords

...and I'm sure I'm missing several things.

Probably a TW is unnecessary for abuse of the English language though, right, Touga?
Punkelf

I got nostalgic for quizzes.

I Am A: Neutral Good Half-Elf Bard (5th Level)


Ability Scores:

Strength-9

Dexterity-10

Constitution-10

Intelligence-14

Wisdom-11

Charisma-14


Alignment:
Neutral Good A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment when it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.


Race:
Half-Elves have the curiosity and ambition for their human parent and the refined senses and love of nature of their elven parent, although they are outsiders among both cultures. To humans, half-elves are paler, fairer and smoother-skinned than their human parents, but their actual skin tones and other details vary just as human features do. Half-elves tend to have green, elven eyes. They live to about 180.


Class:
Bards often serve as negotiators, messengers, scouts, and spies. They love to accompany heroes (and villains) to witness heroic (or villainous) deeds firsthand, since a bard who can tell a story from personal experience earns renown among his fellows. A bard casts arcane spells without any advance preparation, much like a sorcerer. Bards also share some specialized skills with rogues, and their knowledge of item lore is nearly unmatched. A high Charisma score allows a bard to cast high-level spells.


Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)




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